Love Is...Not Self-Seeking

Love Is…Not Self-Seeking

Pastor Russell Henderson

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.

1 Corinthians 13:4-8a, NIV.

When we talk about being self-seeking, at first glance it appears we are talking about selfishness.  While selfishness is definitely part of this definition, the full meaning is actually to insist on getting one’s own way. This could best be translated as one word --  stubbornness.   Now, I believe that there are certainly some good times to be stubborn.  When Michal, David’s wife, saw him worshiping and dancing, she rebuked him.  But David had a righteous stubbornness about him that said, “No one is going to keep me from worshiping the way that I want to.”

But that is not the kind of stubbornness we are speaking of in this passage.  In this 1 Corinthians 13:5, Paul is referring to a stubbornness of will that ultimately leads to rebellion and disobedience.   When you are stubborn and insistent on getting your own way, no amount of teaching or discipline will turn your mind.  You have become unteachable and rebellious.   Let’s briefly examine what the Bible has to say about stubbornness.

If a man has a stubborn and rebellious son who does not obey his father and mother and will not listen to them when they discipline him, his father and mother shall take hold of him and bring him to the elders at the gate of his town. They shall say to the elders, "This son of ours is stubborn and rebellious. He will not obey us. He is a profligate and a drunkard." Then all the men of his town shall stone him to death. You must purge the evil from among you. All Israel will hear of it and be afraid.

-       Deu 21:18-21 NIV

Listen to me, you stubborn-hearted, you who are far from righteousness. - Isa 46:12 NIV

But they did not listen or pay attention; instead, they followed the stubborn inclinations of their evil hearts. They went backward and not forward. - Jer 7:24 NIV

There are three things that I want us to notice about stubbornness and rebellion, and they are found in the above scriptures.

God will not tolerate rebellion. (Deut. 21:18-21)  Whether it is the rebellion of a child to his parents or rebellion toward God.  On many occasions God met rebellion with sickness, disease, and even death.  In the Old Testament, the one who refused to obey his parents was automatically stoned to death. Numerous times throughout scripture, God demands obedience over sacrifice.  Why? Because even in sacrifice one can have a hardened heart, but true obedience softens the heart and makes it pliable in the hands of God.

The stubborn are far from righteousness. (Isaiah 46:12)  Let me translate that in today’s language.  The stubborn are not even saved.  If you are far from righteousness, you are not in fellowship with God.  You cannot live a life of total surrender and stubbornness at the same time.  You cannot have your own way if God is to have His way in your life.  Many times in church we will sing the song “I Surrender All” but, sadly, many people are saying “I surrender all….except my will”.  Friends, our will needs to be surrendered above everything else.  When you are fully able to surrender your, God can do anything he needs to do in your life.  Romans 12:1-2 tells us that in order for God’s will to be done in our lives we must (1)offer our bodies (lives) as living sacrifices and (2)have our minds transformed.  God will only use a vessel that is completely surrendered to him.

Stubbornness is equal to back-sliding.(Jer. 7:24)  Jeremiah 7:24 talks about stubborn people who moved backward instead of forward.  It is impossible to grow physically, mentally, or spiritually when you insist on doing things your own way without taking input and guidance from God or others.  Many people don’t like to use the term “back-sliding”, but we must ask ourselves this question, “If one is not moving forward then where are they moving?”  The only plausible answer is “backward”.  I don’t believe in accidental back-sliding and one day waking up to find that I am no longer saved.  But what I do believe is that someone who claims to know God, but allows stubbornness and rebellion into his heart has willfully started on a downhill course.

Do you want to be someone who is full of love?  Do you want to be a vessel that God can use?  Then you must remove all stubbornness and rebellion from your heart.  You must learn how to take instruction and even discipline.  Proverbs 12:1 tells us that he who hates correction and discipline is stupid.  It is important to be teachable and obedient to those who are in authority over you.  Jesus is the only one with the words of life, and it is vital that we stay linked up with him.  Any other path--even our own--will eventually lead us to destruction.  But Jesus will lead us to righteousness and life.

Instead of entertaining stubbornness and rebellion, be a yielded, willing vessel.  Give your heart, mind and will completely to the direction of God, and see the blessings that come in surrender.